Sunday, December 14, 2014

Writing Xmas isn't "taking Christ out of Christmas," it's shorthand

Xmas is not a non-religious version of “Christmas”. The “X” is actually indicating the Greek letter “Chi”, which is short for the Greek χριστός, meaning “Christ”. So “Xmas” and “Christmas” are equivalent in every way except their lettering.
In fact, although writing guides such as those issued by the New York Times; the BBC; The Christian Writer’s Manual of Style; and Oxford Press discourage the use of Xmas in formal writing, at one time, it was a very popular practice, particularly with religious scribes, who are thought to have started the whole “Xmas” thing in the first place. Indeed, the practice of using the symbol “X” in place of Christ’s name has been going on amongst religious scholars for at least 1000 years.
Eventually, this shorthand trick spread to non-religious writings where nearly everywhere “Christ” appeared in a word, the Greek Chi would replace that part of the word. For example, in the 17th and 18th centuries, there are numerous non-religious documents containing instances of “Xine”, which was a common spelling for someone whose name was Christine.

Lying to kids about drugs is a shitty deterrent

It is perhaps the greatest fallacy hoisted upon the peoples of civilized society that there is an inherent danger to recreational drug use. 
Perhaps the reason that anti drug campaigns fail so miserably is that they all lie. Drugs are awesome. They make you feel great and they don’t seem to cause the advertised harm, at least in the short term.  Whenever someone decides to try “just one little hit” as an experiment they undoubtedly learn that everything they’ve ever been told about that drug is horseshit.  
We tell kids their hearts will go into tachycardia and possibly explode if they try cocaine. While I’m sure that may be true for a small number of cases—overdoses notwithstanding—the (purely anecdotal, I grant you) experiences in which I’ve partaken, surrounded by rock musicians and strippers, proved that the experience is mostly limited to feeling really good, really sexy, and really talkative. Imagine the worst day you’ve had recently, and then imagine the best day. Quantify the difference emotionally between those two and add that to an average feeling and you pretty much have a mathematical understanding of how cocaine (and most stimulants, really in their own way, affects you.
We tell kids if they smoke marijuana they’ll burn their brains out and sit around being worthless and stupid. Inserting more of my anecdotal experience here, I can tell you that the valedictorian and salutatorian of my high school, and the class president of my third year of college were all huge pot-heads. This doesn’t mean that they weren’t holding themselves back—maybe they would have been über-geniuses if they hadn’t smoked—but they didn’t seem like lazy losers to me. 
As for Meth, I’m convinced that if cocaine were easily available and cheap that nobody would mess with that nasty stuff. In this same vein I place heroin, were morphine readily available. 
Adolescents are biologically programmed to be difficult and rebellious. When we lie to those kind of people about drugs (and exaggeration and omitting positives is still lying) it makes them less inclined to believe anything. Tell a kid he’ll get addicted from one snort of cocaine and when he doesn’t he’ll doubt that that same snort of heroin could kill him, which it most certainly can (especially if the cocaine is still in his system).  
Drug policy should be based on education. Drugs should be decriminalized because after all, ruining someone’s life over possessing a recreational amount that we were yesterday lying to about the affects of that very substance isn’t a productive way to discourage experimentation. 

Monday, November 17, 2014

Eulogy For My Father

It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s like walking up the stairs in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things. 
Daddy encouraged me to play music, to read, and to follow all my artistic interests. He showed concern when my grades were sub-par, but stressed that actually learning something was more important than a letter grade. He stressed that I should always endeavor to learn everything I could. He taught me dad/son things: fishing, how to work on engines, carpentry, shooting, old cars, boating, how to dissect a cat… Dad also taught me to not let myself be pushed around, to stand up for what I believed in, and though it might seem contradictory, Dad also taught me to remain calm.
Those who knew Daddy are aware of his tendency to “fly off the handle” over inconvenient minutia, But we who were closest to him know well that he possessed a very kind and gentle heart. While small things may have seen him quick to anger, he was immensely patient when it came to important matters. The same man who would scream over me spilling a drink never failed to maintain a reassuring calm when when discussing a large infraction I’d committed. I knew I could always go to my father when I screwed up and that he would support me outwardly, no matter how much he might disagree with what I’d done in private. Albert Pike once wrote “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” To me, many of the defining characteristics of who I am embody this statement.
A common past-time with which dad would engage me was to drive all around, showing me the back roads of Lauderdale County. Often, these concluded when he would make his way to a small, redneck bar just across the Tennessee line. I remember one such trip especially well. 
Daddy drank a Miller Lite because he refused to drink Budweiser products due to some political stance I never really tried to understand that somehow involved Jessie Jackson’s son, and I drank the Heineken I’d learned to order once I accepted the futility of inquiring into the darkest beer they carried. It was either a Friday or Saturday because the band was set up on the small stage. It was late afternoon, and Dad called my attention to a woman who’d come in. Her attire, makeup and hair were done up to the nines and Dad pointed out how it was awfully early for someone who’d put so much effort into being attractive at night to already be in a bar. At this, Daddy dispensed what I took at the time as sage advice: “No matter how pretty that woman is, somewhere there’s a man that’s tired of her shit…”

I know now that this is actually the punchline to a joke, but at the time I thought he was serious. It’s a unique quality to be able to impart humor and wisdom and have it be so memorable, and that’s what I remember most about my father.

A Boy and His Dog



Few relationships we form through our lifetimes will have the longevity, co-dependence or love as that we choose to share with a pet dog. The canine has been domesticated by man since before recorded history. There has literally always been a human understanding that a dog makes an appropriate companion. I don’t know why this is, but I can only imagine that those humans through the ages have recognized the same loyal companionship apparent in the species. Great and small alike, it seems the natural state for a canine to be a social creature and to accept man as immediate family.
There are many tales of dogs caring for wounded people or abandoned babies. We read these will understanding and emotion yet we aren’t really surprised by them. Indeed it seems few and far between are those in our society who don’t share an affinity for man’s best friend. 
There are good people and bad people in this world, and most straddle a line somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. But no matter the foulest person there is, I’ll bet there’s a dog who has at some point loved that man above all reproach. 
Dogs don’t need us. There’s plenty of evidence that they can survive in the wild on their own. But they seem to need us. And we need them. There doesn’t exist a truer, more faithful bond than between a boy and his dog. No woman can ever hope to provide that intense level of love and no parent can wholeheartedly express such empathy with that boy’s emotions.
I can be friends with people who are acquainted with those I don’t care for—I can trust them with my life. I don’t think I could ever trust a man (or woman) who didn't like dogs. The mere idea seems inhuman to me. 


I wrote this cradling my crippled, blind, 15-year-old miniature pincher, who has lately been having some gastrointestinal issues. I had to break away somewhere in the fourth paragraph to run her outside in the rain while I was barefoot as she had begun to lose control of her bowels on me. After tending to her and changing my shirt I returned to finish this essay. It strikes me that if any human, even my own daughter, were to poop on me I’d be so disgusted that I’d probably vomit up my dinner. With this poor creature, who’s given me her entire life though, I could only manage mild disgust and limitless pity. That’s the power of a dog. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

My Father Is Dying


My father is dying.

We die, all of us, eventually. Sickness; accidents; suicide; apathy; time; assure we will eventually breathe in and exhale for the very last time. And yet that doesn’t make it easier to accept. My father is dying, but not in the sense of “we’re all dying” that lives in that little room in our minds where we lock away our unpleasant thoughts, only bringing them out occasionally to ground us in reality or to experience an emotion and invoke a memory. My father is dying now. He currently exists in an indescribable, but very familiar state—he isn’t dead, but he isn’t really alive either. I have come to his home to see him in the hospital bed, to hear the moan of the machines, to smell the antiseptic and sickness, to see his grimace at the slightest provocation and the way his features soften as another half-milliliter of Morphine is squirted into his mouth. His breathing looks labored but it doesn’t seem to bother him. He’s so quiet I catch myself looking to the many layers of blankets that cover his failing body to assure that his chest still rises and falls. Cheyne-Stokes Respiration, they call it. The description reads more complicated than what actually occurs. Technical details aside, in the words of former Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, you “know it when [you] see it.” The fact that I can still prompt him to react unpleasantly by moving his head or rolling him over is, in a certain sense, comforting. I spent nights alone with my mother in Hospice and was holding her hand when she died, yet I had seen nary a reaction from her in the preceding weeks. She was already gone and we were waiting for her heart to stop. Dying isn’t a black and white thing, as one would think. That in-between space where you’re not actually dead but certainly not alive is a philosophical gray area. Medically, of course, this is a stupid proclamation, but clinical terms can’t encompass the gravity of sitting in the same room with the people who are solely responsible for your existence as they leave their bodies, and then their lives with a whisper. 


My father is dying, and no matter how much I know he has to I don’t want him to; I don’t want to make him stay either, though.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Hey, Pretty

Kyrie suggested we go for a drive in her new 2-door BMW coupe
In the parking lot, we slipped into her bucket seats. Kyrie took over from there.
At nearly 90 miles per hour she zipped us up to that windy edge
Known to some as Mullholland, that sinuous road running the ridge of the Santa Monica Mountains where she then proceeded to pump her vehicle in and out of turns sometimes dropping down to 50 miles per hour, only to immediately gun it back up to 90 again. Fast, slow, fast fast slow. Sometimes a wide turn sometimes a quick one she preferred the tighter ones. The sharp controlled jerks, swinging left to right before driving back to the right. Only so she could do it all over again until after enough speed, and enough wind, and more distance than I had been prepared to expect. Taking me to parts of the city I rarely think of and never visit...
I can't remember the inane things I started babbling about then, I know it didn't really matter, she wasn't listening. She just yanked up on the emergency brake, dropped her seat back, and told me to lie on top of her—on top of those leather pants of hers, extremely expensive leather pants mind you, her hands immediately guiding mine over those soft, slightly oily folds. Positioning my fingers on the shiny metal tab, small and round, like a tear Then murmuring a murmur so inaudible that even though I could feel her lips tremble against my ear, she seemed far, far away. Pinch it, she said, which I did, lightly, until she also said pull it, which I also did, gently parting the teeth, one at a time, down under and beneath, the longest unzipping of my life...

We never even kissed or looked into each other's eyes. Our lips just
trespassed on those inner labyrinths hidden deep within our ears, filled them with the private music of wicked words, hers in many languages, mine in the off color of my only tongue, until as our tones shifted, and our consonants spun and squealed, rattled faster, hesitated, raced harder, syllables soon melting with groans, or moans finding purchase in new words, or old words, or made-up words, until we gathered up our heat and refused to release it, enjoying too much the dark language we had suddenly stumbled upon, craved to, carved to, not a communication really but a channeling of our rumored desires, hers for all I know gone to Black Forests and wolves, mine banging back to a familiar form, that great revenant mystery I still could only hear the shape of, which in spite of our separate lusts and individual cries still continued to drive us deeper into stranger tones, our mutual desire to keep gripping the burn. Fueled by sound, hers screeching, mine...I didn't hear mine, only hers, probably counter-pointing mine
A high pitched cry, then a whisper dropping unexpectedly, to practically 
a bark, a grunt, whatever, no sense anymore, and suddenly no more curves either, just the straightaway
Too bad dark languages rarely survive...

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Today I Learned: Fredkin's Paradox

The tendency to spend an inordinate amount of time agonizing over meaningless decisions is known as Fredkin's Paradox. 
When faced with choosing between options if one is obviously better, the time you spend pondering will be minimal. As the two options get closer and closer to each other in quality, the time you spend considering them will increase.
That's why deciding if your new vehicle should be a car or a truck is a relatively easy decision while deciding which shirt to wear on your date can frustrate you for hours. 
The natural consequence of options being pretty much the same means that we will spend longer and longer periods of time carefully considering the choices that will make less and less difference in our lives.


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Today I Learned: The Dunning-Kruger Effect

The Dunning-Kruger Effect is defined as "a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than is accurate. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability to recognize their own ineptitude." 
It's the principal that someone who knows a little bit of something is likely to believe they have a masterful understanding of it as opposed to someone who truly has a thorough knowledge or skill realizing the limits of what they don't know. 

Ever noticed that the people that genuinely excel at something don't overly feel the need to go around boasting how they are so intelligent or skilled, but that those who come across as the biggest idiots on a subject can't help but regale you with tales of their mastery of it?
An example I've encountered in my own life is:
"I'm a great guitar player, my friends always want me to teach them my tricks" said unsolicited by a University underclassman with a generic acoustic who then proceeded to botch the fingering of a G chord
—Versus—
"I'm ok" said by Joey Laycock when asked if he was "any good" [at playing] by the same guy. 

We can see this most recently illustrated in the media regarding the Ferguson, MO shooting death of Mike Brown with people claiming to be experts saying 6 shots is excessive and that police should shoot people in the leg whereas had they any actual training they would instantly see the fallacy of both those arguments. 

For a more locally themed example, one need only listen to Paul Finebaum to hear scathing critique of coaching decisions by people who's days are spent watching ESPN rather than getting paid to win national championships. 

The Dunning-Kruger Effect, ladies and gentlemen. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

How "Empire Records" Became The Unlikely Film Of A Generation

How "Empire Records" Became The Unlikely Film Of A Generation
Anne Helen Petersen

I remember watching Empire Records for the 12th time on the floor of my best friend’s basement, complete with green shag carpeting and wood paneling, and then watching it again as we fought sleep, somewhere around 2 a.m., with piles of candy. I watched it for the 20th time by myself, when I should’ve been at some cool-kids dance, and instead found myself at home, lights out, pretending I wasn’t sad or anxious or worried what this night might predict about the rest of my life.

The 27th time was with my group of three best friends, learning the “Say No More” dance the same way that Corey, Mark, and Gina do halfway through the movie. And I remember some night, halfway through college, all the friends back in our small town, bored, not old enough to buy beer and too good to sneak it from our parents, and amidst our ennui it became abundantly clear that all we really wanted to do with the rest of our night was acquire two pints of Ben & Jerry’s and watch Empire Records the way we always had and, to our minds, always would.

For our generation — a shoulder demographic between Generation X and the millennials — this was one of our movies, a film that managed, however oddly, to capture the ineffable feeling of being a (white, straight) quasi-alienated teenager in a very specific time. But Empire Records was no hit: It grossed a mere $250,000 in its two weeks in release in 1995. With a budget that topped $10 million, it’s not difficult to do the math: Empire Records was an unmitigated, unequivocal flop.

Yet like so many artistic disasters that go on to become cult classics, Empire Records flourished when it was ignored. Kids like me saw it in the video store, watched it on cable, found a random VHS copy, and thought the charm was their secret.

By the time I taught high school in 2011, the students knew the movie as well as I did. Their attraction to Empire Records (like their fixation on My So-Called Life and Clueless) had more to do with fetishizing an era before many of them were born, but it’s clear: The Empire lives on. In a vinyl reissue of the soundtrack released on Record Store Day; in internet celebrations of Rex Manning Day; in special screenings, quote-alongs, Facebook pages, endless GIFs, and truly spectacular Etsy creations.

The Empire Records plot is fairly straightforward: An employee of an independent record store, tasked with closing up the store for the night, discovers plans for a corporate takeover — a fate, as anyone familiar with ‘90s cultural politics knows, akin to capitalist colonialism. The employee thus takes the day’s earnings to Atlantic City, hoping to win enough to save the store. He fails, and the rest of the movie is ostensibly spent figuring out how to protect the store from encroaching Music Town overlords.

That’s just the scaffolding, though, on which the real charm of Empire Records is hung: For those who loved the movie, its indie versus corporate plot was always secondary. It was the movie’s depiction of misfit teens — and the interactions between them, all of which seemed so pregnant with exceptional meaning — that resonated. These characters — a good girl, a slutty girl, a gothy girl, an artist boy, an adorable weirdo, a beatnik, a too-cool rocker, a hippy stoner, a wannabe — with whom nearly any high schooler could identify or toward whom they could direct their desire. It was, as one crew member pointed out, Breakfast Club at the record store — but even weirder.

Today, most think it was a little movie that slipped through the cracks before several of the leads went on to major careers. Yet the real story of Empire Records is much more complex — and, ironically, mirrors the very struggle that the Empire Records store faced in its battle against corporate takeover. And nearly 20 years after the film’s release, just as a new generation of high school students fall in love with the film for entirely different reasons, here’s that story for the first time.

IT’S REX MANNING DAY!

When Carol Heikkinen reached working age in her hometown of Phoenix, she got a job at the coolest possible place for a high school kid: Tower Records. When she was in college, she spent a summer working at another Tower Records, this one on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. It was through these experiences that Heikkinen wrote the script for Empire Records, then titled simply Empire. As she told me over email, she tried to write a story like the Richard Pryor classic Car Wash, which took place over one day at a car wash — only at a record store.

“I wanted to show how the employees were a family, and how, for some of them, this minimum-wage job would be the best job they ever had,” she explained. “I was interested in how some employees like Corey (Liv Tyler) were working for extra spending money before going off to college, while others like A.J. (Johnny Whitworth) were paying rent and supporting themselves and close to broke.”

With a premise in mind, Heikkinen began filling in the details from her own experience. At Tower, like Empire, employees chose the store music; each would put their CD in a stack that would make its way through the carousel. “One guy was putting the same Dio album in every shift,” Heikkinen added, “and not everyone loves Dio as much as this guy did, so someone finally scratched it up.” (In Empire, A.J. takes a lighter to one of Mark’s metal CDs.)

As for the main plot of the story — Lucas (Cochrane) takes the $9,000 he’s supposed to deposit after closing up the store and gambles it away at Atlantic City — that came from an apocryphal legend of a Tower employee taking the count-out money and showing up the next day with no explanation. The manager didn’t press charges; the employee didn’t even get fired. In the Tower world, getting fired was, according to Heikkinen, a “rarely used last resort” — which explains why, in Empire Records, Lucas isn’t fired for losing $9,000, Corey (Liv Tyler) isn’t fired for having a meltdown in the middle of the store, Gina (Renée Zellweger) just gets asked to go home after sleeping with Rex Manning, and no one bats an eye when Mark (Ethan Embry) gets high on the weed brownies Eddie (Kimo Wills) brings to the store.

Try to remember what the record store felt like in the ‘90s: This was before MP3s and Napster, before you could listen to all things all the time — when what you bought became declarative of taste. But the record store was also a cultural center: where you went, especially as a teen, to figure out what your tastes were; to have the conversations and embarrassments and thrilling first listens that made you feel adult and alive.

It’s easy to see why a script set in a record store, peopled with characters from various walks of life, ready-made for a blockbuster soundtrack, got picked up off the spec-script pile. According to Alan Riche, one of the co-producers of the movie, the script was first given to Riche’s producing partner, Tony Ludwig, by William Morris agent Rob Carlson. Carlson convinced the pair to give it a look by telling Riche that Heikkinen had attended the same high school, albeit several years apart, as Riche in Phoenix. They brought the script to Michael Nathanson, president of Regency Pictures, a fledgling shingle at Warner Bros. tasked with producing pictures that Warner Bros. would then distribute. During this process, director Alan Moyle — best known for the Christian Slater pirate radio hit Pump Up the Volume — became attached to the project.

According to Nathanson, Moyle’s “street credibility” with teens was part of what convinced him to green-light the project. Empire Records was low budget but high concept — everything Regency Pictures, which was beginning to amp up its production schedule from a few films a year to 10–14, wanted. Plus Nathanson’s boss, Arnon Milchan — a covert Israeli arms dealer turned international film-financing guru — loved music. It seemed, at least to Nathanson, like a surefire, albeit low-stakes hit. Empire Records was a go.

The problem — one that boomers like Nathanson and the other producers involved couldn’t quite understand — is that the film was entering into a much broader cultural skirmish between Gen-X “indie” culture and those who aimed to commodify and exploit it.

When Empire Records began filming in 1994, Kurt Cobain had committed suicide, Marc Jacobs had put grunge on the high-fashion runway, and the major record labels were throwing money at anything that might be the next Nirvana or Pearl Jam. Empire Records, like Reality Bites before it, was the product of a major studio attempting to reach a subculture notoriously resistant to direct address. And just look at the plot of Empire Records: It’s a movie about resisting corporate takeover that’s developed and released by a major media conglomerate, a movie about quirky misfits with the daughter of the massively mainstream Aerosmith as the lead. They were attempting to cater to an imagined idea of its audience, not its actual audience — something that Moyle had somehow managed to avoid with Pump Up the Volume.

Which explains, at least in part, why the movie might not have reached those actually invested in Gen X culture but spread like a juicy rumor amongst the demographic too young to identify as or with Gen X. When I first saw it, as a relatively uncultured 14-year-old, it matched my imagined understanding of how high school, and record stores in cool cities, would work. Once I was old enough to realize that no movie could approximate the layered experience of being a teenager, I had seen it too many times — and so thoroughly incorporated it into my cultural vernacular — to care.

WHAT’S WITH TODAY, TODAY?

As Nathanson recalls, he green-lit Empire Records on a Tuesday. Two days later, he received a call from Amy Heckerling’s agent, who told him that Heckerling, already well-known for Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Look Who’s Talking, had an idea for a new screenplay. She came into Nathanson’s office and pitched him the idea of an updated Emma set in a Beverly Hills high school — the script that would eventually become Clueless.

Nathanson loved the idea, but he’d just bought his teen movie; if he took another one, he’d risk pigeonholing the developing production company as a “teen company.” He reluctantly turned Heckerling down, thereby earning the dubious distinction of being the first — and only — production company to pass on Clueless.

When Clueless hit theaters and became a word-of-mouth sensation, earning $10 million its opening weekend and over $56 million overall — an incredible number for a teen movie in the mid-‘90s — Nathanson would find himself on the receiving end of an irate call from Milchan, demanding, “How stupid could you be?” But at the time, it seemed like the logical move: Empire Records was Regency’s teen movie.

And they funded it accordingly: This wasn’t some indie production where the actors work for scale wages, and the filming is guerilla-style, sans permits or permissions. Instead, Empire Records would be shot on a set designed, top to bottom, to resemble an independent record store down to the most minute detail. The scaffolding on the roof, the beautifully arched ceilings, even the 20-foot mural of Gloria Estefan that graces the top of the building (and with which Mark has an extended, unaccountable make-out scene) would be built from scratch on location in Wilmington, North Carolina, where famed producer Dino De Laurentiis had built a facility (which had most recently — and somewhat ominously — hosted the production of The Crow, where Brandon Lee had died on set).

Working with casting director Gail Levinson, Moyle, along with producers Tony Ludwig and Alan Riche, began searching for the patchwork of personalities that would fill the record store. For the role of Corey, Liv Tyler was young, beautiful, and instantly recognizable to the MTV demo, having just starred in the now-iconic video for Aerosmith’s “Crazy” with Alicia Silverstone.

As Moyle recalls, even after Tyler was cast and arrived on set, it was unclear if she could act or was just “being herself.” Rory Cochrane had played a long-haired stoner in Dazed and Confused but was unsure if he wanted the part, or even wanted to continue acting. Like his character, Lucas, he was, in Moyle’s words, a “real existential dude.” According to one source, he asked for a price so high he was sure that they’d never say yes — and was astonished when they did. He also encouraged his girlfriend, Renée Zellweger (whom he’d met on Dazed and Confused, in which the Austin-born Zellweger had played a bit part), to audition, and she was eventually cast as “slutty” Gina — a character who, on all accounts, couldn’t have been more different from Zellweger.

Johnny Whitworth, who’d had only small roles in commercials, read for both Lucas and A.J.; Tobey Maguire, who was good friends with Whitworth, was in the running for Lucas and Marc. But Ethan Embry (who’d been acting for years, most visibly with Reese Witherspoon in A Far Off Place) came in and stole the part of Mark. After touring conflicts made it impossible for Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong to take the role of Berko, Coyote Shivers — then married to Liv Tyler’s mother, Bebe Buell — took the role.

According to Whitworth, the casting process involved various configurations of the cast assembling for table readings and one possibility after another cycling through for different roles. Jenny Lewis read for a number of roles, as did Angelina Jolie, who was originally pegged for the role of Deb. As Riche recalls, Jolie came in like “a force of nature,” with an “insane powerful energy” that blew everyone away. They tried to fit her into any of the three lead female roles, but she was just too much; she would’ve eaten those roles alive. Instead, they found Robin Tunney — who arrived, in Moyle’s words, as a “real, legitimate” actor with the exact amount of gravitas to pull off the complicated role of the suicidal Deb.

As for the adults, Joe (Anthony LaPaglia) was the kind of cool dad figure everyone wanted as their boss/teacher/mentor (only recently, past the age of 30, did I realize that Joe is actually hot), and washed-up ’80s rock star Rex Manning (Maxwell Caulfield, forever immortalized as the lead in Grease 2) was like realizing that your teacher, or your parents’ friend, was a sexual being: equal parts hilarious and completely nauseating.

But the most unique casting story comes from Kimo Wills, who eventually won the role of stoner Eddie. Wills, who was from Chicago, had appeared in bit parts in a number of mainstream movies, but the audition for Empire was his first as an unaccompanied adult. He flew to Los Angeles, read for the part, and listened while all the “cool kids” talked about their callbacks, which he hadn’t yet received. They also told him that the director was the director of Pump Up the Volume, one of Wills’ favorite films. He’d had no idea. A night came and went with no word of a callback, and a downturned Wills went to the airport to board his flight back to Chicago. Suddenly, there was an announcement over the PA, the kind, in the age of cell phones, we never hear anymore: “Kimo Wills, you have a call waiting.”

Wills ran to the phone, and there was Moyle’s voice on the line, telling him he got the part. Wills launched into a long speech about how important Pump Up the Volume was to him, basically word-vomiting all over the place, to which Moyle, at least in Wills’ memory, was like, “OK, kid, I gotta go, but welcome to the film.”

WHO KNOWS WHERE THOUGHTS COME FROM, THEY JUST APPEAR

With the cast in place, the production relocated to Wilmington, where a crew of 100 was busy readying the soundstage and scouting exteriors. While the set was prepared, the cast — which was to include Tobey Maguire, who’d been promised a part of some sort — began to rehearse and settle into their characters. Each cast member was put up in a duplex on the beach; no one was more than a five-minute walk from anyone else. Moyle hosted huge dinners at his house on a nightly basis, where his two standard poodles would dart in and out of the action. He instituted a morning Pilates session (years before Pilates was even close to cool), during which several members of the cast would take drags off their cigarettes between poses.

They all took mushrooms together; weed was omnipresent. Maguire showed up, felt aimless, may or may not have consumed a psychotropic drug, and somehow ended up in the basement of Moyle’s beach house eating a giant bowl of cereal. Moyle found him there, they talked for several hours, Maguire asked to go back to Hollywood to figure his life out and write a screenplay. Moyle agreed to buy it; Maguire returned to Hollywood — and, as far as Moyle knew, never wrote the script. But two years later, he was the star of The Ice Storm; eight years later, he was Spider-Man.

And slowly, as a record store began to take shape on the stage, the characters began to come into focus — in part through the wardrobe. Because Empire Records was to take place over the span of a single day, the costume designer, Susan Lyall, had to find outfits that would effectively communicate — but not scream — the inner dynamics of each character. For Corey, she wanted a mix of preppy and sexy: the straight-A student who yearns for something larger than her circumscribed, good-girl experience. Thus: the short schoolgirl kilt, reminiscent of the kilts that Tyler and Silverstone eschew in the “Crazy” video, and a cropped mohair sweater (which any ’90s girl will tell you seemed like the straight-up epitome of cool). In an early cut of the film, Gina gifts Corey with the red bra — an extension of her sexually forward persona — that Corey then wears when she attempts to seduce Rex Manning and, later, takes off and sets on the table during her lunchtime fight with Gina. That scene was cut, but the pairing of the red bra (with white panties) lived on.

Deb’s look was not only dark, but receding: Her character wanted to hide away, be invisible. As the “anti-Corey,” she was put in a tiny child’s hoodie paired with old-man pants; under the hoodie, a tiny tank top, a set of visible, fuck-you bra straps, and lots of tattoos. Debi Mazar based the character of Rex Manning’s off-kilter assistant — who pairs suspenders with an orange wig, heavy makeup, and a newsboy cap — on Madonna’s longtime publicist, Liz Rosenberg. And for the scene in which Gina dons a Music Town apron — and little else — Lyall simple added a dart or two and secured it tightly to Zellweger’s body.

The men’s costumes were more straightforward: Mark’s orange Chainsaw Kittens shirt showed up in a box on set, and he shaped his hair into a helmet of curls himself. Johnny Whitworth’s grandpa sweater was his own, and he found the old-man checkered shirt on a vintage rummaging trip to a woman’s attic with Liv Tyler. Whitworth linked two wallet chains for the old-man pocket watch he’d use to prepare for 1:37 — the exact time he plans, and fails, to tell Corey he loves her.

For Joe’s shirt, Lyall chose the unbuttoned white shirt to convey that he was at once cool and a person of authority, while Lucas’ leather jacket may, if Moyle’s memory is to be trusted, have come from his own collection. Lyall found a perfectly textured shirt for Berko at Barney’s — but when Coyote Shivers was getting fitted, he made the very astute observation that “we’ve obviously got to cut these sleeves off.” Thus: a very expensive sleeveless rocker shirt. Warren’s giant P&B coat, perfect for hiding pilfered CDs, was the then-14-year-old Brendan Sexton’s favorite; his hair, a veritable stronghold of gel.

And for the best costume of all — Rex Manning — Lyall went foraging at the famous store Trash & Vaudeville on St. Marks in New York’s Greenwich Village, where she found the purple satin cowboy shirt, added the fringe, and came up with a look that was “Tom Jones + Rod Stewart + Trash & Vaudeville.” Add an overdose of bronzer and a heavily blow-dried pompadour, and you have a ridiculous former teen idol (whom, according to everyone involved, Caulfield was incredibly game to play).

The set was a marvel — as John Huke, who worked as the art director, recalls, it was the collaborative vision between himself, Moyle, and renowned production designer Peter Jamison. This was no shoddy simulacrum of a music store: There were two floors, ornate ceilings, 20-foot ceilings. Moyle, working with director of photography Walt Lloyd, loved to set the camera at weird angles, fully exploiting the beauty of the set.

When you look at the interior shots, it’s easy to believe that they’re in a store, looking out the window — but all of those interiors were inside the warehouse — they built a street with curbs, blacktop, even a sidewalk, and used forced perspective to approximate the line of cars in the used car lot that was supposed to be across the street. Not a frame of CGI in sight.

During the weeks of rehearsal, the cast improvised several moments that would become foundational to the narrative: Tunney argued, persuasively, that her character should shave her head — and that the only way to make it convincing was to have her do it for real, in real time, while the camera was rolling. Everyone was a bit unsure — you don’t know what someone’s bald head is going to look like until it happens — but the scene, which was filmed with three cameras, is a pivotal, beautiful moment…and hundreds of thousands of girls, this one included, wondered what they might look like with an exquisitely shaved head.

Whitworth improvised the scene in which he comes up with a bunch of ridiculous analogies for how he feels about Corey while talking to himself on the rooftop (“You’re like … when you first get out of a warm bath?”), and Embry filmed at least a dozen different setups of the scene when he catches the ballerina’s leg (played by Caulfield’s stepdaughter, Melissa, who was visiting the set). Indeed, as Embry recalled, most of the crazy shit that Mark does was simply an exponent of his ADD personality. And the scene that’s lived in my memory for years — when Corey finally figures out that she loves A.J. back, and swoons on the rooftop — was the result of Moyle’s insistence that the scene not play like a cliché.

SHOCK ME SHOCK ME SHOCK ME WITH THAT DEVIANT BEHAVIOR

Behind the scenes was about as crazy as one would imagine with a set filled with teenagers and early twentysomethings transplanted into a small coastal town with nothing to do but work on the movie and play on the beach. Twenty years after the fact, some were quicker to reveal stories than others, but a few anecdotes remained constant: Sexton crashed a golf cart into Anthony LaPaglia’s brand-new — as in not even a day off the lot — SUV. Everyone was in love with Robin Tunney. And as Johnny Whitworth recalled, “I think Kimo went to jail, like, three times?”

In truth, it was just once, and it wasn’t for weed or booze — but “hindering and delaying an officer.” The arrest was all Embry’s fault: He’s the one who got his mom, who was on set as his chaperone, to drive him and Wills to Walmart, where he had a secret mission of acquiring a pellet gun. Walmart wouldn’t sell it to a 16-year-old, so he bought a cap gun instead — a bright blue and red one, probably something like this. (Remember, this was 1994; everyone and their brother had a cap gun.) Being a typical 16-year-old boy bored in a Walmart parking lot, he got on the little quarter-operated carousel — the type usually reserved for toddlers — and began shooting the gun in the air.

Cut to five minutes later, when a police car, sirens blaring, pulls over the car. “We’ve got reports that there’s someone in here with a gun,” says the first officer. Embry gets out, shows them the cap gun; more cops come to the opposite side of the car, where Wills is trying not to lose his shit. “I hope you don’t think this is funny,” a cop says to Wills. “I don’t think this is funny, I think this is stupid. I told him not to buy that cap gun,” says Wills.

Wills was thrown in the back of the patrol car, but they didn’t even search Embry — which was fortunate, because as Embry recalled, he almost certainly had a bag of marijuana on his person. The production attempted to get Wills off the hook by immediately paying the fine, but the officers insisted he go through standard booking — and stay in general population for several hours before releasing him. “People always review my relationship with Ethan like I was the bad influence,” Wills told me, “when in reality, I’m the one who’s like, ‘Ethan, we’ve got to get off this bridge.’” Just not that one time.

IN THIS LIFE THERE ARE NOTHING BUT POSSIBILITIES

A movie about a record store has to have a perfect soundtrack — which is part of the reason that the producers chose Moyle, whose taste had been well-established with Pump Up the Volume, to direct. Mitchell Lieb was brought on to executive produce the soundtrack, and Karen Glauber, who’d headed up new music marketing at A&M Records, served as music consultant.

The soundtrack for Empire ended up a collection of B-sides from prominent artists, covers, and new finds, but as Glauber explained, most directors just want to put on “the stuff that they loved when they were 23 or 28 — everything they ever wanted on their college radio station.” Moyle’s taste, however, was much more expansive; indeed, he wanted the soul of the entire movie to be about music, with wandering diatribes about specific artists to anchor scenes and our understanding of various characters. His original director’s cut had a scene with a five-minute discussion of The Shaggs, for example, and a scene highlighting the small vinyl shop that Eddie maintained within the store, including an extensive, razor-sharp breakdown of the various Clapton recordings.

Much of that sort of deep music wonkery was evacuated from the final cut, but the vestiges remain on the soundtrack: Between the cuts from major artists (Gin Blossoms’ “’Til I Hear It From You,” The Cranberries’ “Liar”), you had what Glauber called “the very best Toad the Wet Sprocket song” (“Crazy Life”) and the crazy catchy song that would become the album’s second single, “A Girl Like You” from Scottish artist Edwyn Collins. Glauber chose The Meices’ “Ready Steady Go” to capture a bit of lingering Gen-X punk ethos, and she’d heard Evan Dando cover Big Star’s “The Ballad of El Goodo” on KUCI and arranged to have Liv Tyler sing backup for the soundtrack version. “Free” came from The Martinis, a side project of Pixies guitarist Joey Santiago with his wife Linda Mallari. And, of course, Coyote Shivers’ “Sugar High” — only the version that made it onto the soundtrack lacked Renée Zellweger’s vocals from the finale of the film.

One of the most bizarre scenes in the movie — and one that straight-edge high school me did not understand — comes when Mark devours a plate of weed brownies and finds himself inside the GWAR video he’s watching on one of the store’s television screens. It wasn’t in the script — but when Wills saw a flyer advertising an upcoming GWAR show in Wilmington, he knew that it was precisely the sort of death metal Mark would be into. Thus: Mark’s “guest appearance” in the GWAR music video, complete with on-set devourment. (The original plan for the soundtrack was to emulate the popular format of the time, in which snippets of dialogue and commentary functioned as bumpers between songs — think Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Romeo + Juliet, Natural Born Killers. After filming wrapped, Embry and Wills were flown to Los Angeles and spent a week recording extemporaneous conversations to be inserted between songs, but that version never saw the light of day.)


I WONDER IF I’LL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS

Everyone I spoke to about the filming of Empire Records agrees that it was one of the best experiences of their careers. You had a cabal of young people, an innovative and collaborative director, and the sort of rehearsing time necessary to let characters and performance develop organically; they were actually friends. The isolation of Wilmington meant that the actors had no other choice than to hang out with each other, developing the sort of convoluted backstories, connections, and dynamics that would accompany a dozen teens working at an actual music store (many of which were deemed, during our conversations, as too private for public broadcast).

That’s the thing about Empire Records: Even it fails to coherently indict “the man,” it nevertheless manages to express the way teenage relationships tread that knife edge between love and hate, disgust and desire. And no matter of studio edits (of which there were many) could detract from that overarching feel. For example, after screening Moyle’s cut — which began with Lucas pulling up to the record store on the motorcycle — Regency felt that the film as a whole was lacking in exposition. They requested a prologue spelling out exactly how Lucas lost the money, including establishing shots in Atlantic City and a decked-out casino constructed out of the Coconut Grove room at the Ambassador Hotel (the woman who weirdly tells Lucas, “You’re sex” = Regency President Michael Nathanson’s then-girlfriend).

There were additional trims and edits; in Moyle’s words, “The studio was in a cocaine mentality, while we at the movie were in a pot mentality.” Part of the feel of the film was also lost via Regency’s insistence that it remain PG-13, rather than have the R-rating of the original script; that’s why none of the characters could be shown actually smoking cigarettes or marijuana, why they couldn’t swear like actual teenagers, why Eddie couldn’t run his weed operation on the roof — why they couldn’t, in other words, fully behave like the teens they were meant to portray.

Watching the film today, the missing connective tissue, much of it cut after Moyle gave over his director’s cut to Regency, becomes clear: Some story lines float in the wind (Why does Jane leave Rex Manning? Who is Berko? Does Eddie actually work at the store?) while others, like Lucas’ trip to Atlantic City, feel ham-fisted. There’s also a tonal disconnect between the more obvious attempts at Gen X authenticity and the sentimentality of various scenes and the film’s ending.

Still, even in August 1994, the plan, according to a Billboard article, was to release Empire Records in 1,250 theaters on Sept. 22. Regency decided to test the re-cut film on teen audiences — a common practice for any film, no matter the genre. The first screening took place in a white, middle-class area of the San Fernando Valley — and the audience loved it. Moyle was pleased, but Regency wanted to test it again. This time, however, the screening was in a lower-class, Hispanic neighborhood in the Valley — and the results were disastrous. It’s easy to see why: The cast, their character’s concerns, and the music itself are all lily-white.

Regency and Warner Bros. saw the audience scores and balked: Even with the success of similarly teen-centered Clueless, they decided to dramatically downsize the wide release. And so, in industry parlance, they “dumped” the film: Instead of 1,000-plus screens, they put it on 87. Instead of flooding malls in cities across the country, it showed in four. There was no premiere; no national advertising campaign. The soundtrack had two hit singles, but few had even heard of the movie. The film was an unmitigated bomb, grossing $150,800 the first week and $74,850 the second. Warner Bros. yanked it entirely.


I DO NOT REGRET THE THINGS I HAVE DONE, BUT THOSE I DID NOT DO

The story of Empire Records might have ended there — one of hundreds of films put out to VHS pasture after the studio decides the expense of a legitimate release isn’t worth what the film would gross. But then kids like me discovered it on the racks of the video store and rented it a dozen times, while others bought a copy and played it until the VHS tape began to drop out and skip — fulfilling, as Variety had prophesied in its original review, its enormous teen rental potential.

It’s difficult, however, to substantiate a generalized feeling of a movie’s cult status: I know that this movie was incredibly important to me, and hundreds of conversations over the last two decades echo the same sentiment. When I asked for testimonies of the movie’s resonance and social currency, the responses flooded in:

||I distinctly remember a friend showing it to me in middle school, and as soon as Ethan Embry swans down the staircase and squeals, “It’s Rex Manning Day!” I was hooked. It was like Monty Python or Neutral Milk Hotel: If somebody liked Empire Records, I knew I would like them. —Maura Foley, 26, Philadelphia suburbs||

||I’m from Australia, a tiny little town where it always felt like we were the last to know … [but] we were OBSESSED with Empire Records. We knew every word, every song, and almost wore out the VHS. We wanted to be Corey, we wanted to be with A.J. It just made us feel like we had discovered something so secret and cool and underground and special. —Kellie Bright, Castlemaine, Australia||

||I think growing up in a small town without much “culture” made the world created by Empire Records seem so exciting. Same teen drama, just happening in a MUCH cooler locale. Full dork admission here: We used to film ourselves acting out scenes from the movies. —Katie Rodgers, 33, Clarkston, Washington||

||Everything about Empire Records seemed perfect to me. Working at a record store was the coolest job in the world, Liv Tyler had the prettiest hair and the best clothes but still wore mismatched underwear like a real person, dramatic monologues about trying to cut your wrists with a razor that had pink flowers and a moisturizing strip was the deepest thing ever. —Erica Huff, 34, Mansfield, Texas||

||We got it on loan from a friend who was older and never gave it back! We quote it all the time, in texts, on Facebook pages, in group chats, in person. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go shout the lyrics to “Sugar High” from atop my roof. Like it’s Rex Manning Day and A.J. has just told me that if he can love me in this skirt, that he can love me in anything. —Justine Durnin, 24, Dublin, Ireland||

And yet the vast majority of the cast and crew were completely ignorant of the film’s cultural endurance. The stars had moved on to bigger projects; Moyle viewed it as one of the major failures of his career. In fact, it wasn’t until just last year, when Embry convinced several members of the cast to attend an outdoor screening at the Silver Lake Picture Show, that most first realized its impact.

The success of the Silver Lake screening was such that the Hollywood Forever Cemetery — one of the best, albeit nontraditional, venues for outdoor cinema — announced another screening at the end of July. This time, Moyle vowed to come see the supposed fandom for himself.

With another mini-cast reunion and a sellout crowd of more than 4,000 die-hard fans, the scene was beyond Moyle’s wildest imagination: fans in costume, people yelling the lines at the screen, and a massive, wholly spontaneous group dance-along to match the one on the screen in the film’s final moments.

It was, in Moyle’s words, the premiere Empire Records never had. His creative vision had, in many ways, been compromised by the powers that be at the studio. But as Michael Nathanson, who was in charge of many of those edits, admits, it was Moyle’s sensibility that resonated with audiences over the last 20 years: “The oddball, off-center, noncommercial stuff — that’s what endures.” Lucas’ existentialism; Marc screaming into the camera; the full-length Rex Manning video; A.J. gluing quarters to the floor. The things that scared the studio (and repelled much of Gen X) were the very things that attracted a massive fanbase — which, it seems, is how cult followings generally come to pass.

“To be a part of something that’s made so many people happy — that’s why I’m sitting here with you,” said Whitworth. “When I was a younger man I would’ve been like, ‘Fuck that,’ you know? But I’m so glad that it’s been a part of people’s lives.”

Or, as producer Alan Riche put it, “It became a damned classic. And that’s something to be damned proud of.” Not every movie becomes a blockbuster, or attracts the audience for which it was intended. But this one managed, in such a serendipitous and unpredictable turn of events, to truly Damn the Man…and save the Empire.


Article originally appeared: http://bzfd.it/1uqFRkg

Friday, August 29, 2014

Today I Learned: Franksgiving

Thanksgiving was celebrated on the last Thursday of November until 1939 when a five Thursday November threatened to damage the already depressed economy by shortening the lucrative holiday shopping season—it was considered tacky to display Christmas decoration or advertise Christmas sales before Thanksgiving—so Franklin Roosevelt declared Thanksgiving would be observed a week earlier. 

Detractors objected and the actual date Thanksgiving was observed varied based on political party lines—Democrats on the penultimate Thursday and Republicans on the last. This practice was dubbed "Franksgiving" and continued until 1941 when Congress passed legislation to officially declare Thanksgiving a national holiday occurring on the fourth Thursday of November, thus settling the ambiguity of the appropriate date. 


Incidentally, Thanksgiving was only celebrated in New England as a regional holiday until Abraham Lincoln declared it a national holiday at the request of a women's recipe magazine editor in 1863. 

Today I Learned: Edison and Göbel

Thomas Edison didn't invent the lightbulb. A man named Heinrich Göbel asked Edison to partner with him on an electric lamp so he could raise money to care for his failing health, but Edison insisted it was a stupid and useless idea.

When Göbel died Edison bought the rights to the invention from his widow for a paltry sum and then filed a patent as his own.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Today I learned: What Time Do You Have?

The world didn't agree on a singular reference for time until 1880 when the establishment of strict railway schedules mandated it. Instead of asking someone "What time is it," the question “What time do you have?” was more common, since the expectation was that everyone’s watch would have a different one. Clocks and watches at the time were used like egg timers. They gave you a sense of when you had to be somewhere, but there was zero expectation that they would all reflect a single time. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

These are the words that saved my life

Last December I set about getting my affairs in order and making preparations to end my own life. 
I had the implements, I'd made arrangements for my body to be discovered by a pragmatic acquaintance instead of a close friend or family member, and I spent all night agonizing over a note to leave to Sabrina, my long ago ex who I counted as my best friend. I'd already had a will and advanced directive drafted by an attorney and even cleaned up my room and liquidated most of my possessions. 
Out of nowhere in the very early hours of the morning I received a text message from Sabrina. It arrived randomly and without any preface—I hadn't talked to her in a few days. She must have written it when she got up for some reason. I hadn't shared with her my plans, but surely she sensed something wrong.
These are the words that saved my life, and I've never told her so now I'm putting it where everyone can see it and know what she did.

12/12/13, 5:29am From Sabrina
Dear friend, I know you are you hurting, especially this time of year. I can't imagine the loss and the pain the holidays brings to you. I know this angers you, but I will keep you in my prayers that you find comfort, so you can carry on with the future and enjoy friends and family that you have in the present. Peace is a hard thing to have when your heart is hurting. I pray that you have strength and love to enjoy life, bc it is so fleeting. You do a lot for people that is kind and generous. And it doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know God will bless you for the things you do selflessly for others. Don't let anger and pain blind you. Take pride in who you are. Your intelligence, love, unselfishness are evident but don't let darkness cloud the eyes of your heart. I love you very much

Today I learned: Mimic Octupus

The best camouflage in the world belongs to the mimic octopus. It can imitate over 15 other species through a characteristic that's incredibly rare in the animal kingdom called active mimicry. Most species rely on passive mimicry, which means that they have no choice in what they resemble—the disguise has just been handed to them through millions of years of evolution. The mimic octopus doesn’t just camouflage itself—it does dead-on impersonations. And lest one think that it’s easy to fool fish because they’re stupid, the mimic octopus is so good at disguising itself that humanity didn’t even officially recognize it as an existing species until 1998.

Today I learned: Anagnorisis

Anagnorisis vs. Ephiphany


An epiphany is a sudden realization, unconnected to any previous understanding and often accounted to divine inspiration. Anagnorisis is the culmination of information that has slowly been revealed beforehand, often as a way of providing clues to involve the audience.

Today I learned: Diegetic Sound


Sound whose source is visible on the screen or whose source is implied to be present by the action of the film is called Diegetic Sound


The way Guardians of the Galaxy features Star Lord's Walkman and the Awesome Mix Vol. 1 cassette from his mother which he listens to and which also provides the bulk of the movie's soundtrack as well as the Creedence playing on The Dude's tape deck when he wrecks into the dumpster are both examples diegetic sound. 


The term also encompasses voices of characters and sounds made by objects in the story but it's the use of  music represented as coming from instruments or devices in the story space as opposed to the background score to which we're accustomed that calls for differentiation.



Friday, July 25, 2014

On the Israel/Gaza conflict

The media is using the disproportionate amount of deaths to drum up sympathy for the inhabitants of Gaza. Hamas is gaining popularity with their higher death toll. Civilians are encouraged to stay in their homes even as the Israeli army warns of upcoming attacks. The dead serve their purpose in trying to sway public opinion against Israel.
 It keeps being stated as fact that Israel stole the land from the Palestinians, illustrating ignorance and a reliance on propaganda in lieu of facts. The land historically belongs to the Israelis. The ancient kingdoms of Judah and Israel existed as part of the Ottoman Empire long before Muhammed ever molested his first child.
The land was illegally settled with Arab refugees who were then eventually removed from those non-legal dwellings they'd built by British troops. This tiny little area given back to Jews after WWII was attacked the first day it existed by all the neighboring countries controlled by Islamic governments. Israel retaliated and subsequently occupied land that they won during their victory. The leaders of 13 Arab nations refused every proposal for peace, even famously declaring that there would be "no peace with Israel, no negotiations with Israel, no recognition of Israel." 
Israel is a powerfull country and it will survive even without US support. They made their own nukes, and possess a large army and large trained civilian population. They can wipe out any of their neighbours with sheer conventional firepower at will. They have strong financial and technology sectors so they don't have to worry about negative opinions from the rest of the world. 
Hamas attacked Israel, they have the right to retaliate. Civilians in Gaza democratically elected Hamas as their government, thus they bear the responsibility for the casualties they now endure. Their arrogant stupidity lays in their belief that a third world territory lacking sophisticated weaponry can successfully wage war against a first world military power. 

The inhabitants of Gaza have demonstrated their unworthiness to exist—that any still do is a testament to Israel's restraint, patience and desire for peace. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The best motivational article you will ever read

6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You A Better Person

Feel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you're thrilled with your life, and you're happy with your relationships. Enjoy the rest of your day, friend, this article is not for you. You're doing a great job, we're all proud of you. 
For the rest of you, I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. But here's the catch -- you're not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I'm a nice guy, I'm honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so.

#6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You

Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

Getty "OK, which one is the injured one?"

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how kind, giving, and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold.

Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ...

#5. The Hippies Were Wrong

Here is the greatest scene in the history of movies: https://youtu.be/Q4PE2hSqVnk
It's the famous speech Alec Baldwin gives in the cinematic masterpiece Glengarry Glenn Ross. Baldwin's character -- whom you assume is the villain -- addresses a room full of dudes and tears them a new asshole, telling them that they're all about to be fired unless they "close" the sales they've been assigned:

"Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. If you want to work here, close."

It's brutal, rude, and borderline sociopathic, and also it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you. The difference is that, in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way that they've decided it's better to simply let you keep failing.

That scene changed my life. I'd program my alarm clock to play it for me every morning if I knew how. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for that movie and that's the only scene he's in. As smarter people have pointed out, the genius of that speech is that half of the people who watch it think that the point of the scene is "Wow, what must it be like to have such an asshole boss?" and the other half think, "Fuck yes, let's go out and sell some goddamned real estate!"

Or, as the Last Psychiatrist blog put it:

"If you were in that room, some of you would understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway, welcome the coach's cursing at you, 'this guy is awesome!'; while some of you would take it personally, this guy is a jerk, you have no right to talk to me like that, or -- the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted with a greater power -- quietly seethe and fantasize about finding information that will out him as a hypocrite. So satisfying."

That excerpt is from an insightful critique of "hipsters" and why they seem to have so much trouble getting jobs (that doesn't begin to do it justice, go read the whole thing http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/11/hipsters_on_food_stamps.html), and the point is that the difference in those two attitudes -- bitter vs. motivated -- largely determines whether or not you'll succeed in the world. For instance, some people want to respond to that speech with Tyler Durden's line from Fight Club: "You are not your job."

But, well, actually, you totally are. Granted, your "job" and your means of employment might not be the same thing, but in both cases you are nothing more than the sum total of your useful skills. For instance, being a good mother is a job that requires a skill. It's something a person can do that is useful to other members of society. But make no mistake: Your "job" -- the useful thing you do for other people -- is all you are.

There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers. There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters. There is a reason your job will become your label if your death makes the news ("NFL Linebacker Dies in Murder/Suicide"). Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job.

Or think of it this way: Remember when Chick-fil-A came out against gay marriage? And how despite the protests, the company continues to sell millions of sandwiches every day? It's not because the country agrees with them; it's because they do their job of making delicious sandwiches well. And that's all that matters.

You don't have to like it. I don't like it when it rains on my birthday. It rains anyway. Clouds form and precipitation happens. People have needs and thus assign value to the people who meet them. These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.

If you protest that you're not a shallow capitalist materialist and that you disagree that money is everything, I can only say: Who said anything about money? You're missing the larger point.

#4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People

Let's try a non-money example so you don't get hung up on that. The demographic that Cracked writes for is heavy on 20-something males. So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better if I let Alec Baldwin explain it: https://youtu.be/Q4PE2hSqVnk  In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive women in your life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does -- society has trained us not to be this honest with people -- but the equation is the same. "Nice guy? Who gives a shit? If you want to work here, close."

So, what do you bring to the table? Because the Zooey Deschanel lookalike in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do?

"What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"

No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?

"Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!"

I'm sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don't have, then back the fuck away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate.

Does that break your heart? OK, so now what? Are you going to mope about it, or are you going to learn how to do surgery? It's up to you, but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. "But I'm a great listener!" Are you? Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there's another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is "The actors are clearly visible."

I think this is why you can be a "nice guy" and still feel terrible about yourself. Specifically ...

#3. You Hate Yourself Because You Don't Do Anything

"So, what, you're saying that I should pick up a book on how to get girls?"

Only if step one in the book is "Start making yourself into the type of person girls want to be around."

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?

Here's another video:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mSnRq6iyHKg
Everyone who watched that video instantly became a little happier, although not all for the same reasons. Can you do that for people? Why not? What's stopping you from strapping on your proverbial thong and cape and taking to your proverbial stage and flapping your proverbial penis at people? That guy knows the secret to winning at human life: that doing ... whatever you call that ... was better than not doing it.

"But I'm not good at anything!" Well, I have good news -- throw enough hours of repetition at it and you can get sort of good at anything. I was the world's shittiest writer when I was an infant. I was only slightly better at 25. But while I was failing miserably at my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight straight years, an article a week, before I ever made real money off it. It took 13 years for me to get good enough to make the New York Times best-seller list. It took me probably 20,000 hours of practice to sand the edges off my sucking.

Don't like the prospect of pouring all of that time into a skill? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the sheer act of practicing will help you come out of your shell -- I got through years of tedious office work because I knew that I was learning a unique skill on the side. People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can't figure out that the process is the result.

The bad news is that you have no other choice. If you want to work here, close.

Because in my non-expert opinion, you don't hate yourself because you have low self-esteem, or because other people were mean to you. You hate yourself because you don't do anything. Not even you can just "love you for you" -- that's why you're miserable and sending me private messages asking me what I think you should do with your life.

Do the math: How much of your time is spent consuming things other people made (TV, music, video games, websites) versus making your own? Only one of those adds to your value as a human being.

And if you hate hearing this and are responding with something you heard as a kid that sounds like "It's what's on the inside that matters!" then I can only say ...

#2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do

Being in the business I'm in, I know dozens of aspiring writers. They think of themselves as writers, they introduce themselves as writers at parties, they know that deep inside, they have the heart of a writer. The only thing they're missing is that minor final step, where they actually fucking write things.

But really, does that matter? Is "writing things" all that important when deciding who is and who is not truly a "writer"?

For the love of God, yes.

See, there's a common defense to everything I've said so far, and to every critical voice in your life. It's the thing your ego is saying to you in order to prevent you from having to do the hard work of improving: "I know I'm a good person on the inside." It may also be phrased as "I know who I am" or "I just have to be me."

Don't get me wrong; who you are inside is everything -- the guy who built a house for his family from scratch did it because of who he was inside. Every bad thing you've ever done has started with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on it. And every good thing you've done is the same -- "who you are inside" is the metaphorical dirt from which your fruit grows.

But here's what everyone needs to know, and what many of you can't accept:

"You" are nothing but the fruit.

Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people.

Inside, you have great compassion for poor people. Great. Does that result in you doing anything about it? Do you hear about some terrible tragedy in your community and say, "Oh, those poor children. Let them know that they are in my thoughts"? Because fuck you if so -- find out what they need and help provide it. A hundred million people watched that Kony video, virtually all of whom kept those poor African children "in their thoughts." What did the collective power of those good thoughts provide? Jack fucking shit. Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of your brain to keep you from actually doing work.

How many of you are walking around right now saying, "She/he would love me if she/he only knew what an interesting person I am!" Really? How do all of your interesting thoughts and ideas manifest themselves in the world? What do they cause you to do? If your dream girl or guy had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they can't read your mind -- they can only observe. Would they want to be a part of that life?

Because all I'm asking you to do is apply the same standard to yourself that you apply to everyone else. Don't you have that annoying Christian friend whose only offer to help anyone ever is to "pray for them"? Doesn't it drive you nuts? I'm not even commenting on whether or not prayer works; it doesn't change the fact that they chose the one type of help that doesn't require them to get off the sofa. They abstain from every vice, they think clean thoughts, their internal dirt is as pure as can be, but what fruit grows from it? And they should know this better than anybody -- I stole the fruit metaphor from the Bible. Jesus said something to the effect of "a tree is judged by its fruit" over and over and over. Granted, Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, close." No, he said, "Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire." (Matthew 7:19)

The people didn't react well to being told that, just as the salesmen didn't react well to Alec Baldwin telling them that they needed to grow some balls or resign themselves to shining his shoes. Which brings us to the final point ...

#1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement

The human mind is a miracle, and you will never see it spring more beautifully into action than when it is fighting against evidence that it needs to change. Your psyche is equipped with layer after layer of defense mechanisms designed to shoot down anything that might keep things from staying exactly where they are -- ask any addict.

So even now, some of you reading this are feeling your brain bombard you with knee-jerk reasons to reject it. From experience, I can say that these seem to come in the form of ...

*Intentionally Interpreting Any Criticism as an Insult

"Who is he to call me lazy and worthless! A good person would never talk to me like this! He wrote this whole thing just to feel superior to me and to make me feel bad about my life! I'm going to think up my own insult to even the score!"

*Focusing on the Messenger to Avoid Hearing the Message

"Who is THIS guy to tell ME how to live? Oh, like he's so high and mighty! It's just some dumb writer on the Internet! I'm going to go dig up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid, and that everything he's saying is stupid! This guy is so pretentious, it makes me puke! 

*Focusing on the Tone to Avoid Hearing the Content

"I'm going to dig through here until I find a joke that is offensive when taken out of context, and then talk and think only about that! I've heard that a single offensive word can render an entire book invisible!"

*Revising Your Own History

"Things aren't so bad! I know that I was threatening suicide last month, but I'm feeling better now! It's entirely possible that if I just keep doing exactly what I'm doing, eventually things will work out! I'll get my big break, and if I keep doing favors for that pretty girl, eventually she'll come around!"

*Pretending That Any Self-Improvement Would Somehow Be Selling Out Your True Self

"Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to get rid of all of my manga and instead go to the gym for six hours a day and get a spray tan like those Jersey Shore douchebags? Because THAT IS THE ONLY OTHER OPTION."

And so on. Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort.

Also, courage. It's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created.

It's so much easier to just sit back and criticize other people's creations. This movie is stupid. That couple's kids are brats. That other couple's relationship is a mess. That rich guy is shallow. This restaurant sucks. This Internet writer is an asshole. I'd better leave a mean comment demanding that the website fire him. See, I created something.

Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, whatever you try to build or create -- be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship -- you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it. Maybe not to your face, but they'll do it. Your drunk friends do not want you to get sober. Your fat friends do not want you to start a fitness regimen. Your jobless friends do not want to see you embark on a career.

Just remember, they're only expressing their own fear, since trashing other people's work is another excuse to do nothing. "Why should I create anything when the things other people create suck? I would totally have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait for something good, I don't want to write the next Twilight!" As long as they never produce anything, their work will forever be perfect and beyond reproach. Or if they do produce something, they'll make sure they do it with detached irony. They'll make it intentionally bad to make it clear to everyone else that this isn't their real effort. Their real effort would have been amazing. Not like the shit you made.

Read any online article's comments -- when they get nasty, it's always from the same angle: Thy need to fire this columnist. This asshole needs to stop writing. Don't make any more videos. It always boils down to "Stop creating. This is different from what I would have made, and the attention you're getting is making me feel bad about myself."

Don't be that person. If you are that person, don't be that person any more. This is what's making people hate you. This is what's making you hate yourself.

So how about this: one year. That's our deadline. A year from whenever you read this. While other people are telling you "Let's make a New Year's resolution to lose 15 pounds this year!" I'm going to say let's pledge to do fucking anything -- add any skill, any improvement to your human tool set, and get good enough at it to impress people. Don't ask me what -- hell, pick something at random if you don't know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog. Write a blog.

But the key is, I don't want you to focus on something great that you're going to make happen to you ("I'm going to find a girlfriend, I'm going to make lots of money ..."). I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people.

"I don't have the money to take a cooking class." Then fucking Google "how to cook." They've even filtered out the porn now, it's easier than ever. Damn it, you have to kill those excuses. Or they will kill you.

You have nothing to lose, and the world needs you. 

-David Wong, Cracked
http://bit.ly/sixtruths

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