These are the words that saved my life

Last December I set about getting my affairs in order and making preparations to end my own life. 

I had the implements, I'd made arrangements for my body to be discovered by a pragmatic acquaintance instead of a close friend or family member, and I spent all night agonizing over a note to leave to Sabrina, my long ago ex who I counted as my best friend. I'd already had a will and advanced directive drafted by an attorney and even cleaned up my room and liquidated most of my possessions. 

Out of nowhere in the very early hours of the morning I received a text message from Sabrina. It arrived randomly and without any preface—I hadn't talked to her in a few days. She must have written it when she got up for some reason. I hadn't shared with her my plans, but surely she sensed something wrong.

These are the words that saved my life, and I've never told her so now I'm putting it where everyone can see it and know what she did.

12/12/13, 5:29am From Sabrina

Dear friend, I know you are you hurting, especially this time of year. I can't imagine the loss and the pain the holidays brings to you. I know this angers you, but I will keep you in my prayers that you find comfort, so you can carry on with the future and enjoy friends and family that you have in the present. Peace is a hard thing to have when your heart is hurting. I pray that you have strength and love to enjoy life, bc it is so fleeting. You do a lot for people that is kind and generous. And it doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. I know God will bless you for the things you do selflessly for others. Don't let anger and pain blind you. Take pride in who you are. Your intelligence, love, unselfishness are evident but don't let darkness cloud the eyes of your heart. I love you very much