This is why I crave drugs sometimes

If the definition of insanity is repeating the same procedure yet expecting different results, to what then does acceptance that one's actions will not change anything, thus leading to a generally apathetic, lethargic life equate?

Posed to many, the simple answer would appear to be an amateur diagnoses of depression, but it's really so much deeper than that, isn't it? I don't know that depression is so much an actual thing as it is a description of a mood. Manic, Bi-polar, psychopathy, Borderline Personality et al. are all diagnoses, or symptoms that add up to diagnoses that describe very different things, yet there're somehow all supposed to be connected. 

What if there is no mental illness--what if it's just extreme sides of everyone's understanding of consciousness? What if I only think these things because I'm crazy?

I need a drink